You Cant Lose What You Dont Have, Right?
by plumi
Summary: I try to say I love him and he snogs someone else, He tries to say I love you and I slap him. That's my life bloody confusing isnt it.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Harry Potter

The first few chapters are going to be a little sad/ morbid. Im sorry but it'll get happier.

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"Jamie!" came the voice of Oliver Wood.

I kept on running praying I would get to the dorms before he caught me. Luck was on my side, ironically and I reached the fat lady portrait when she was opening up for a few first years.

I pushed through them and ran into the common room not caring that basically all of Gryffindor was in there.

"JAMIE!" I heard the shout of Oliver closer this time.

I ran up the stairs to the girls dormitories and didn't stop till I was on the sixth level I opened the door and ran to my bed.

When I flopped down the tears started flowing. I vaguely heard steps coming up the stairs at a fast pace I prayed it wasn't _him_.

"Jamie" I heard the voice of Angelina Johnson one of my best friends "what happened?"

"Wood" was all I could manage between sobs.

"Oh no" sighed Alicia Spinnet my other best friend. "come on lets get her washed up and put to bed." Angelina sat with me rubbing soothing circles on my back, while Katie got everything together.

I was pulled gently into a sitting position. The girls stripped me down to my bra and panties then pulled a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants on me.

Alicia rubbed a warm, wet towel gently across my face and Angelina pulled my dark straight hair back into a ponytail. Five minutes later they pulled back my sheets and tucked me in.

"We'll draw the curtains and put up a muffling charm, we'll check on you every half hour ok?" Alicia more told than asked me.

I simply started to cry again.

About half an hour later there were two knocks on our door and I sobered up at once I hoped it wasn't _him_, I couldn't deal with that.

"Its us" came Lee Jordans voice.

The door was opened and I heard the footsteps come in.

"have you talked to _him_?" sneered Alicia.

"Whoa don't shoot the messenger Leesh" came one of the twins reply.

"He hurt our friend ill shoot whomever I bloody well please" snapped Angelina.

"How's she doing?" asked one of the twins again.

"crying, but we don't know what happened. So we're kinda at a loss as to how to help" came Ali's softer tone.

"oh she didn't tell you? Oh boy" sighed Lee.

"Well you see Wood told he fancied her about a week ago, as you know." started a twin.

"yes we know, but how does SHE end up crying?" Angelina replied tersely.

"Well we were talking this morning and she finally told us that she fancied him as well" continued on the other twin.

"finally admitted it did she? but why is she crying?" asked Ali.

"Well" said Lee "We told her to tell him, cause he wouldn't wait forever and she went rushing off to tell him. Next time we see her she's running through the portrait hole crying. That's all we know"

"oh no this cant be good" sighed Angelina "well you guys best be off, she needs sleep."

"Jamie" called one of the twins in a soft tone.

I kept my drapes closed I couldn't deal with forming sentences right now. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them.

"We love you, you know that" said Lee.

"We'll see you later I guess" said a twin.

A few seconds later the door shut and the footsteps faded. The girls walked to Katies' bed which was next to mine on the left and started playing some sort of card games.

About five minutes later the door opened and two sets of footsteps came in.

"Im so happy for you Trisha" came the annoyingly high pitch of Kelsey McLane.

She was here, we had to share a room, I cant deal with this-

My thoughts were cut off by Trisha's response, "well he deserves someone as hot as he is, I really just wish a certain someone hadn't interrupted."

Without even thinking I grabbed my wand and rolled out of my bed. I ran out of the dorm and was only about two feet out the door when I heard Angelina start yelling at her. "You slag-" and that was all I heard before the door closed.

I ran down the stairs and into the common room, the room was still full and everyone was looking at me, the Twins were there along with Lee, and _him_.

"Jamie" George said softly, he had grown out his hair while Fred had kept his short it made identifying them a world easier.

At the sound of my name _he _looked up and started to get up off the sofa, but the twins restrained him and Lee covered his mouth. "Dude shut the bloody hell up, you've caused enough trouble for today." Lee hissed.

I continued to run out the portrait hole and I went to the office of the only teacher that would be awake.

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"Madam Pomfrey?" I asked as I knocked on her office door five minutes after I had fled the common room.

"Who is it?" she looked up from her paper.

"Jamie Teagan" I barely whispered my throat had seemed to forget how to talk.

She looked me up and down, "oh dear" she sighed. "Im not sure if I can fix this"

"fix what?" I asked softly.

"dear, I cant fix a broken heart" she said knowingly.

"I know, no one can" came my small reply " I was hoping for something along the lines of a bed."

"Well that I can offer" the medi-witch smiled a small smile and stood up.

She led me to a bed in the corner, somewhat blocked off from the rest of the infirmary.

"Now dear you can sleep here, Ill draw the curtains and wake you up at seven so you can get to class and your dorm in time, do you need a sleeping potion? you wont have dreams I can assure you."

At hearing that I wouldn't have dreams I immediately nodded my head. I took the potion she handed me and climbed into bed hoping sleep would come to me soon.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Harry Potter.

I was awoken the next morning at seven on the dot. I rolled out of bed and grabbed my wand which was on the stand next to me.

"Thanks s lot" I smiled at Madam Pomfery.

"anytime you need a bed" she put a hand on my shoulder and a sad smile played across her face.

"you'll be my first stop" I said as I walked out of the infirmary. I jogged to the Gryffindor dorms and to my somewhat luck the common room was empty, everyone was probably at breakfast.

I took a quick shower and pulled my wet hair lazily back, I didn't bother with make up it wouldn't hide the red puffy eyes. I pulled on the customary uniform, and quickly grabbed my bag.

I hurried out of the dorms and to dada class with professor Lupin. I arrived a mere second before the bell, and to my unfortunate luck there were two seats open, It looked as if Alicia and Angelina had tried to save me a seat but their attempts were in vain. There was a seat by itself in the front and a seat that was across the isle from _him._

I walked to the lone seat up front and saw the sympathetic look from the twins, Lee, and the girls. But what also didn't fail to skip my notice was who _he _was sitting with, Trisha.

I dropped my bag and sat down propping my head up on my hand so I couldn't see any of my friends or any other unwanted visuals.

When Lupin walked into class he simply raised his eyebrows when he saw I was sitting alone. But when he looked at me his eyebrow raise turned into a slight frown, probably at my red eyes.

"All right today class we will be working on the patronus charm. We will be in groups of four, I will give you one minute to set up your groups. Go." announced Lupin.

I was in a group with the girls and Lee, I had stayed seated and they surrounded me. The twins were working with _him _and Trisha. But neither looked to pleased about the situation.

"All right Mr. Jordan your group will be here" he pointed to one of the cleared out areas, and we walked to the designated spot.

Five minutes later everyone was settled in their locations and Lupin was ready to start. "We all have studied what to do, now we will be putting action behind it." he announced "May I have a volunteer?" he asked no one raised their hands.

"Miss Teagan why don't you come up here?" he said with a small smile.

I let out a breath and stepped to the front and stood next to him.

"Now I want you to think of an event so happy it' will bring a smile to your face" he said so the whole class.

"you've got to be kidding" I whispered so that I could barely hear myself.

"What was that?" inquired Lupin as if he'd heard me.

"nothing sir. Nothing" I whispered.

"All right now think of your happiest moment." he repeated.

( _**'thoughts / memories',**_ "speech")

'_**running around my house with my Hogwarts letter, finally proof that I was a witch, other than my parents saying that I would be since they were both magical as well' **_

"now repeat Expecto Patronum" came Lupins' voice.

"Expecto Patronum" I repeated as I opened my eyes not having realized I had shut them. A stream of white shot out of my wand but only started to form into an animal but stopped.

"Well done Miss. Teagan for a first try that was definitely outstanding. What were you thinking of?"

"When I got my Hogwarts letter." I replied softly.

"And you got that result? My dear try to think of something that had occurred recently that has made you happy and you will have the most effective patronus. Now go on think"

'_**Finally realizing that I am in love with Oliver. I was sitting on the ground in the common room studying in he walks and just sits in front of me. I looked up and he grabs my face softly and kisses me in a soft loving way.' **_

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" I yell and a white beam shoots out of my wand in the form of a phoenix.

'_**When he pulled back, I had been to stunned to say anything. "I love you" he whispered "I love you Jamie Teagan, and I always will" he stood up and walked up the boys' staircase, leaving me behind.'**_

I held the patronous for about half a minute until I felt pressure being placed on my hand. I turned to Lupin who had gently pushed my arm down, and was met by a shocked face.

"Professor?" I asked in a small voice.

"That was a phoenix, I only know one other person that's a phoenix, and that's Dumbledore" he stammered to himself.

"Im sorry sir?" my smile started to fade, had I done something worng.

I looked over Lupins shoulder to seek help from my friends but wasn't offered any. All of them had the same expression of curiosity on their faces.

I chanced a look at _him _but I instantly regretted it. Instead of his warm brown eyes, I was met by the icy hazel glare of Trisha.

After a moment Trisha smirked she stepped behind _him _tip toed up and kissed the base of his neck; he jumped in surprise.

I quickly diverted my gaze and bit my lip to stop myself from crying. No matter how hard I would try, the image would be forever seared to my mind.

'_**Bloody hell you finally figured it out did you?" Fred had asked. I nodded in response, "I love him" came my whisper. At the word love all the boys jumped up and hugged me. "well you may want to tell 'im that" laughed Lee. I ran out to find Wood. I immediately went to the pitch knowing he would be there. I didn't see anyone on the pitch but opted for looking in the dressing rooms. I didn't care, I needed to find him. I walked into the boys; dressing room and immediately wished I hadn't. There was Wood in a full out snog session with Trisha LaVan. The door closed with a loud 'BANG!' and the two broke apart. "Jamie?" came Woods husky voice. I let out a sob and ran out of the dressing room' **_

I was gently shaken out of my stupor by professor Lupin. I felt the tears coming and knew the inevitable would happen. I would start balling again "Miss Teagan are you all right?" asked Lupin sympathetically.

"can I leave please?" I begged.

He looked at me with sad eyes probably matching my own, "yes you may. Do you need a friend to help you?"

I shook my head as I gabbed my bag and ran out of the room, not missing the pained looks in my friends eyes.

I ran to the music rooms, Hogwarts had a few rooms filled with instruments, my favorite being the piano.

I dropped my bag at the door and sat at the piano bench I took a deep breath and began to play. I didn't have sheets in front of me so I closed my eyes and let the music go where it pleased.

I the tune was a very sad one. But I hadn't really expected anything different after all I was crying while playing it wasn't going to be a sodding lullaby. I stopped when my tears had all been dried and my sobs were no more.

"That was quite lovely Miss Teagan" came a voice from behind me.

I turned slowly and was met by Lupins' small smiling gaze.

"Thank you sir" I smiled in return.

"Now Miss Teagan, I may not be a girl nor an adolescent but I have a fair guess as to why you are crying." he started softly.

"Well Im just an open book aren't I?" I laughed a small laugh.

"ahh but you aren't honestly. Now can I tell you something, and keep in mind this is coming from a person who used to be a teenage boy, It's really not worth crying over us" his smile became a bit pronounced.

I let out a small giggle. "Im fine, really"

"Well, Miss Teagan I think your tears say something different" he nodded to me and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I still don't own Harry Potter

I made all the Fred, George, and in the same year as everyone else.

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I stayed in the piano room until lunch, the only morning class we had today had been DADA. However, this afternoon was going to be rather hard on me. We had potions and charms, for Potions Wood sat right behind me.

I left for lunch not hungry even though I hadn't eaten breakfast. When I walked into the great hall my friends immediately noticed. Ali and Angelina came up to me and walked on either side acting like a blockade.

"Do you want to eat here?" asked Ali

"cause you know we can go to the dorms or something" added on Angelina.

"Ill eat here" I said softly when we reached the table.

We sat so I had one twin on either side of me and the girls and Lee across from us. About five minutes after we had all sat down three very unwelcome guests came and sat next to us.

"You know I just realized the almost whole quidditch team is dating, except Harry but that's different he's too young" came Kelsey's chipper voice.

I felt two protective hands on my back, both the twins had sad looks on their faces as they looked at me. I just kept on eating trying to tune out what was being said.

"Huh weird, not surprising I guess." smirked Trisha " I mean we all have a lot in common."

"Trisha will you just shut up" grumbled Lee.

"excuse me?" she asked politely.

"I've got a better idea" started Ali "Trisha just leave"

"What?" came her not no polite reply.

"Are you deaf?" asked Angelina with a frown on her face.

"Im not leaving" she replied with a bitchy tone.

"Leave" came Ali's deathly tone

"NO" snapped Trisha.

We were all silent watching the exchange, it was like a muggle tennis match your head follows the ball back and forth. Only there was no ball just comments.

"Wood" snapped Ali "she leaves now or I quit"

"Hey don't get me into this" Wood raised his hands in the surrender motion.

The twins looked to each other over my head "We'll quit too" the announced together.

"What?" yelled Wood.

"Add me on that list " smirked Angelina.

"This is stupid guys, just let her sit here" pleaded Wood.

"No its us or her, and keep in mind we have a match in two weeks" added Fred

"Are you serious, you'll quit?" questioned Wood.

"One hundred percent serious" sneered a mad Angelina.

"Guys" I started "It's ok I'll leave"

"No" came Lee's succinct reply.

"Well Im not leaving" came Trisha's condescending tone.

"Wood this is your choice" chimed in the twins.

All heads turned to Wood who had a pained expression.

"Trisha, Kelsey please move." he nicely ordered

"What?!" shrieked Trisha.

"please leave" Wood had his head down.

"fine, but you listen to me Oliver Wood, you get three strikes and you've all ready had two. First you run after her" she pointed a sausage shaped finger at me "when we were in the middle of something rather fun, and now you kick me out of the seating section cause the little bint cant handle it?"

"Trisha" Ali seethed "leave"

Trisha and Kelsey stood up and walked out of the hall, it was then that I realized the whole hall was staring at us open mouthed. I ducked my head and stared at my plate for the rest of the meal.

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When the awkward lunch was over we headed down to the dungeons for potions when we arrived there was a 'recipe' written out. We were to have the potion in by the end of class and you were to work alone.

I immediately got to work, grabbing valerian roots. I finished my potion and went up to Snape. "Im done sir" I presented another vial.

Snape carelessly turned around and 'accidentally' spilt my potion I just smirked.

"be more careful miss Teagan" he scolded with a smirk on his face. "too bad you no longer have a potion to hand in, im afraid that's a zero for the day" he taunted.

"Oh you see sir, I have a potion I made extras just in case an event such as this happened" I withdrew my hand from my pocket holding two tubes with the potion inside.

"very well" Snape grimaced as he took one of my vials. "It looks satisfactory Teagan. Now can you tell me what the potion is?"

"Draught of living death sir." I replied in a monotone.

Snape just walked to the front of class and put my vial into the holder.

I went back to my seat with a small smile playing across my features.

I pulled out some Transfiguration work and started to read, we were studying how to turn our hair different colors, and needless to say it would be a tad difficult. I really wasn't the best at transfiguration , my true strength was in DADA and potions.

As I was sitting I felt someone watching my back and knew it was most likely Wood. My suspicions were confirmed by Lee, who was my partner turning around and giving him a glare.

"Jamie" came Woods soft voice

"Wood leave 'er alone" snapped Lee

"Jamie" he repeated, I kept my back to him.

About ten minutes later we were dismissed and knowing that he would follow me quickly I bolted out of the class.

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I reached the Charms classroom first to find that we would be having a pop-quiz. I grudgingly sat my desk and started, luckily when Wood came in a minute later a silencing charm had been placed around the classroom.

I looked down at the tests title, it was a career test. Oh goodie.

Half an hour later I answered the last question, I raised my hand and Flitwick walked over. He tapped the parchment and walked away.

I looked down and saw 'AUROR' scribbled out in bold lettering. A smile broke out on my face, my father would be so proud as he himself was an Auror, while my mother whose a healer would be worried.

About five minutes later everyone else had finished and Flitwick removed the silencing charm.

"you may compare answers, as I know you are all dying to do so." he squeaked.

Ali and Angelina came rushing over to my desk and looked at my sheet.

"Auror?" asked Ali unsure. "that's bloody dangerous, not that you couldn't do it. It's just dangerous."

"What'd you guys get?" I asked.

"Healer" smiled Ali.

"of course" I smiled Ali was always the Transfiguration queen and matched my skills in potions, but lacked in DADA.

"Cursebreaker" laughed Angelina. "Im actually not surprised at how accurate these are."

"I could see you doing that" I laughed "although I daresay that you would get annoyed with some of the areas you had to work in." I teased.

We were interrupted by the twins and Lee walking up to us. "What'd ya get" chorused the twins.

"You first" I smirked.

"We both got business owners, no surprise" started Fred.

"But Lee here got professor….PROFESSOR!" finished George.

"aww Lee are you goin to be the next Snape?" laughed Ali.

"shut it" he grumbled.

"Oh wait you didn't know the subject yet.." drifted off the Fred.

"Oh do tell" smirked Angelina

"is it history of magic?" teased Ali.

"Very funny, and no it's Transfiguration" he groaned.

"Transfiguration?" came the voice of Wood behind me.

"What'd you get?" asked Lee with a smirk.

"Quidditch player" was his cool reply.

I snorted big surprise there, normally I would have a laugh with him about how he didn't really need to take the test in the first place.

"So was anyone besides Lee surprised by their results?" asked Wood.

I knew indirectly he was asking me what I got but I didn't respond.

"No not really" Fred tightly replied.

"How bout you Jamie, what'd you get?" he asked in a soft voice.

I took a deep breath not sure if I could answer, "Auror" came my soft reply.

"congratulations" his voice equally as soft as mine "I mean that's what you've always talked about being, so…"

"yeah" I replied shortly.

"Im sorry about lunch" he sighed , but I still didn't answer.

"Jamie-" he started again.

"Wood give 'er a break, okay?" pleaded Ali.

"Im sorry, Im sorry for everything" he said before he turned and walked out of the classroom.

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